Does God have a peepee?
Yes, honey. We know that because God is a man, and men have peepees.
Does God have to pee?
I don't know. I guess so. (This is where she went wrong, I think)
Does he have a toilet?
No. He pees into the clouds so that makes rain!.
Does it get on us when it rains?
No! He pees over the oceans so it doesn't get on anybody.
Does he drink water?
He can drink anything He wants.
Where does he get stuff to drink?
He probably sends his angels to get some for him. I think there is milk in the Milky Way.
Do they go to the store like we do?
No. I think they get it from the sky.
Can we see them get it from the sky?
Sometimes you can. They look like a streak of light, because they go so fast. Some stupid people call them 'shooting stars'. But they're angels getting milk for God.
God is real big, isn't He?
Yes, of course.
So his peepee would be real real real big too.
I suppose so.
Would it be bigger than Daddy's?
Oh yes. Definitely. A lot.
At this point snickering and outright giggles from other passengers brought this particular interchange to a halt. A brief halt for beverages and gasoling intervened. After the break the same two people are involved in the subsequemt conversation. I think it should be clear by now that making things up as you go along can be a lot trickier than you might have thought, and the conversations take you to very peculiar places when they are not planned.
Does God wear clothes?
I think so.
Where does He get them.
From the God Sky Store, I think.
Does He have to give them money?
No. It's His store. It's the God Sky Store.
Can we go to that store, the God Sky Store?
Maybe when we get old and die.
Dead people go to the God Sky Store?
Um, yes, I guess they do. (This turned out to be a mistake, I think)
What do they do there, the dead people?
I think they put things on the shelves so God can find them.
Where do they get stuff big enough to make clothes for God?
Way, way out in the sky past the stars is the Big Stuff Place. That's where they get it.
Does it grow there?
Yes. They grow Big Stuff and they sew it together on Big Machines for God.
So when we die do we have to go to the God Sky Store and work?
I suppose so. Either there or the Big Stuff Place.
I don't think I want to go there..
Well, you have to. We all have to. It's just the way things are.
How do you know?
They told me at church.
How do they know at church?
I think God or one of the angels told them.
Have you ever seen one?
No. But they told me they did.
Do God and angels talk to some people and tell them things?
Yes. That's how we know these things.
Did God ever talk to you?
No. Not really.
Did an angel talk to you?
No.
Just to other people?
Yes.
Why not to you?
I don't know. I suppose you have to be very special for God or an angel to talk to you.
I wish I was special.
You are to me.
But not to God?
No, I guess not. But everybody is special to God. Just some people are more special than others.
Does God only speak to the Special People?
Yes. It's always been that way. And the Special People write it down and they tell us.
How does God know which people are Special People?
I don't know. I think the Special People must be very very good people.
I've been very very good.
Yes, you're a very good child.
But I peed in my bed once.
Yes, but all children do that. That doesn't make them bad.
Even Baby Jesus?
Yes, even Baby Jesus.
I wish God thought I was special so He would talk to me.
This discussion definitely took an unforeseen turn. I plan to listen carefully in the future and make better notes.
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