The "Taffy" Personality

It's really amazing how totally flexible our values are.  There's lots of evidence for that statement.  Think of the kidnappings in which the victim becomes attached to the kidnapper and doesn't run away, even when given the opportunity.  Consider the Stockholm Syndrome.  Leon Festinger demonstrated this with Korean War captives.

As we change our behaviors to better conform to the circumstances we are in, so do our values and ultimately the "inner self" that we usually regard as who we are as a person.  "Temporary" changes also in turn change us, and our values and preferences gradually shift to conform to the "temporary" changes we made.  Eventually we are different people.

Even behaviors that we regard as "symptomatic" of a mental disorder represent current values of ourselves and our circumstances.  If you are depressed, begin telling yourself you are worthless and begin acting as if you were worthless, your feelings will match your behaviors, but more importantly, your own values of yourself as a person begin to change to match your symptomatic behaviors.

A way of slowly becoming less anxious and less depressed is to act less anxious and depressed.  It may take months but our feelings and sense of self will shift to match our behaviors and new choices that govern those new behaviors.

All such "temporary" changes become more and more permanent.  When we divorce and marry again, eventually we change to become the person that fits our new relationship.  Our values and preference change and we become a different person than we were.  It certainly would be interesting to investigate how a spy "going undercover" may end up becoming the person he/she pretends to be;  are undercover police and spies changed by their experiences in the direction of their pretended selves?  Theory would suggest they would do so.

I have begun to think of the personality as resembling taffy.  Put a little pressure on for a long enough time, and .. squoosh!