Bumper stickers

Sometimes sitting in a line of traffic I have more time than is probably good for me.  I may find myself reading faded bumper stickers on the car ahead of me.  They are frequently all over the back of the car, as if the owner of the car was just too full of wisdom (or something) to hold it all in.

I understand those stickers that advertise some service or product the owner of the car clearly has a stake in.  Advertising is advertising, after all.  But I find myself wondering what is being advertised (and why) when the car has descriptions and numbers for all the kids, pets and awards the owner of the car is connected with. Having an "A" student, no matter how briefly, is a matter of some pride, but of course the sticker remains long after the student is no longer a student.  Why does someone want others to know how many children he has?  Is that considered some form of recommendation?  Why would someone expect others to have even a passing interest in what kind of dogs they like and how many they have?

I am also perplexed by the stickers advertising religious beliefs.  The beliefs are frequently somewhat unusual ones, but there are many that simply espouse Christianity or Judaism or Wicca or just religious tolerance.  Perhaps these are all good things. Even so, how many people do you know who were converted to a religion or made more tolerant by a bumper sticker?  My suspicion is the the owner of the religious car is essentially bragging about his/her feelings of superiority to the owners of the cars behind him. "See what I think? Don't you wish you were me?"  A simple "Sucks to be you" or "You're behind me so I win" should be enough to cover the whole gamut.

I am particularly bemused by the worn and fading political stickers.  I notice that the older stickers are never, ever, about a current incumbent.  They are always about a loser that we hardly remember.  When slogans are included, they are about as relevant as "Tippecanoe and Tyler Too".  Maybe it's because all the candidates looked a lot better before they were elected.

I do briefly enjoy the humorous stickers.  Some are quite amusing and improve the waiting period before the traffic moves on.  There are fairly few new ones, so it doesn't take long or many repetitions before they become tedious.

All told, I suspect there is a negative correlation between number and kind of bumper stickers and intelligence, but if you are a car owner who has a lot of bumper stickers, you probably won't understand this sentence. Try this one:  Lots of bumper stickers=IQ below room temperature.  After hearing the last sentence a family member suggested that we need a sticker on the back of our car that says "Snark Aboard".  What did she mean by that?