Unhappiness vs. depression

Most people, including most shrinks, don't seem to understand the difference. People talk about being depressed when a pet dies or they lose a job. Listen, people. Depression is an illness that takes all the joy out of life, even when things are going well. Depression is a miserable illness that can go on for years, screwing up your sleep and your appetite. Depression should be and can be treated successfully by experts in the treatment of depression. It doesn't ever have to come back.

Unhappiness and sadness and grief are NOT illnesses. They are part of the human condition. They are the price we pay for loving and giving our hearts to someone or something. Unhappiness and sadness result from loss, loss of someone or something important, even the loss of a dream. Unhappiness can result from living our lives in a way that doesn't really fit who we are or where we need to go, like wearing the right shoe on the left foot for a year. Grief is the way in which the mind recovers from loss and is a healing process. Grief is self-limiting, like the healing of a broken bone. Grief has its own schedule, and doesn't care about our plans or activities, but comes and goes as it needs to.

Depression results from a form of thinking and behavior that causes, in susceptible people, severe depression. The form of thinking and behavior are easy to recognize; the form of thinking is self-blame and negative self-judgment. The form of behavior is passivity, helplessness and withdrawal. Most people see these forms as the result of depression, but they ARE NOT. They are the CAUSE of depression, and when they are changed, depression decreases. Depression is not self-limiting, because it is an active process caused by the person, just like the pain caused by hitting yourself on the thumb with a hammer won't go away until you stop hitting yourself on the thumb with a hammer.

This is important because we all need to know what should be treated by an expert and what is just a part of life that we have to live with. Some people seem to believe that they have a right to full-time happiness and that if they are not happy, someone should do something to make them happy, like give them a good job or a special pill. If you know the difference between unhappiness and depression, then you know when you should ask for help and when you should simply be with your friends and those that love you.