Uncle Charley Doesn't See A Ghost

Charley knocked on the front door.

"It's Charley," my wife said to me. "Taking your camera?"

I opened the door. "Hiya, Charlie, come on in. I'll get my stuff".

I started picking up my gear. My wife gave Charley a hug.

"Where are you two going this evening?" she asked.

"I thought we'd go out to that old cemetery that they're gonna build a hamburger place over," he said. "Might be some angry spooks or somethin'."

"Have fun and stay out of trouble," she said, shaking her head.

We put our cameras in the car and headed out. When we got to the empty plot of land that, according to legend, was a very early cemetery dating before statehood. It was somewhat rough, with a few trees darkening in the early dusk. There were a couple of bulldozers on a little access road. A small sign near the main road said "Future Home of Super Burgers".

"It looks real peaceful," Charley said, looking through his camera.

"It won't stay that way long," I commented, walking through the tall grass.

"It's a good location for a business, I guess", Charley said. "You think it was a cemetery?"

"Yes,", I said. "It was before the township was platted, and there are no official records showing anything, so there's no way of moving bodies, if anything were left to move after 120 years. Still..."

"Spook you a little?" Charley grinned.

"Maybe. Bad pun, Charley".

Charley moved off under the trees. "You believe in ghosts?"

"I don't know," I said. "I've never seen any. I've watched a couple of those tv shows where they use equipment to see if they can detect anything ghostly. They never seem to come up with much."

Charley was kneeling down, looking through his camera. "You notice they always pick kinda scarey places to look? Wonder why they think there would be ghosts in castles or places like that, instead of battlefields or graveyards."

"Makes a better tv show, I guess."

"Think about it, Harry. They never find anything. Castles and abandoned buildings? Why, there's probly not many places in the world where somebody hasn't died. And died of everything imaginable, from car wrecks and wars to plague and executions. Think about battlefields and concentration camps. Why, there's more dead people than live ones, I suspect, millions and millions. So the question really is why ain't there more ghosts?" He took another lens from his bag. "If being a ghost was an easy thing, we ought to be up to our necks in ghosts. "

I found myself grinning at the thought. "You're right. Becoming a ghost must be tricky."

"Maybe you have to fail an Exit Exam at the Pearly Gates," Charley commented. "I read about a phantom dog in a graveyard. I wonder how dogs fail the exam? Maybe pee on the Pearly Gates?"

"Some stories about ghosts claim the ghosts had 'unfinished business' or maybe they got treated badly in life," I said.

"You think very many people die without having 'unfinished business'," Charley asked. "And how many people died mistreated or mad? The whole business don't make a lot of sense. Why, right where we are, there oughta be a bunch of ghosts all pissed off because we're gonna put a hamburger stand on their graves."

"Getting dark, Charley," I said. "Let's pack it up."

"Woooo," Charley said. "A ghost or two might make a good picture."

We looked around the peaceful area. "I like it better as it is," I said.

"Always need more hamburger places," Charley said. "Even if they're full of spooks."