Charley and the Afterlife

“I been to church again,” Charley said as he plopped himself into the lawn chair.

“Good for you. I thought you were an atheist or agnostic?”

“Agnostic? Nah, I’m never wishy-washy, I got more pride than that. Of course I’m an atheist, but I gotta see what the other side is thinking about, don’t I?”

“Well, what are they thinking about?” I asked, knowing that Charley had his answers all prepared.

“They was talking about the after-life, you know. They got all these ideas that really don’t make any sense unless you already made up yer mind to believe ‘em.”

“Such as?”

“They say they’re gonna see each other, see all their old friends and family. Don’t say what they’re gonna see ‘em with. And they say we're gonna know each other. As far as I know, memories have to have something to be kept in, and we know all that physical stuff is gonna stay right here.”

“I think part of the reason people long for an afterlife is because they really can’t imagine not continuing on in some way or another. We’re pretty important in our own eyes. Surely we can’t just… stop.”

“Don’t know why not,” Charley said. “The universe has been going on almost 14 billion years, I read somewhere. Passed like a blink to me. I don’t think the next 14 billion years will be any slower. I really think that people think they’ll go on forever because they can’t imagine stopping, and at the same time the idea of going on forever is pretty darn frightening. I couldn’t stand being around my ex-wife for more than 5 minutes, and if I had to put up with her forever…”

“So what’s your theory about why we imagine an afterlife?”

“Lack of imagination, mostly,” Charley said. “Once you say there’s an afterlife, you have to come up with reasons for how it works and who gets to go there and what there is to do once yer there. Most religions have come up with a description of heaven that sounds a lot like what the rich people in their home towns already have. Sounds pretty arbitrary to me, but then I’m not plannin’ on going there”.

“Doesn’t that scare you?” I asked.

“Nope,” Charley said. “I’m not scared of going to sleep at night either. When my machinery ain't working or on stand-by, I’m not there to see it. Time don’t mean anything when the clock's stopped. I really think that people are mostly scared of somehow knowing they’re dead and stuck down there in the dark. The really good news is that they ain’t gonna be there. Or anywhere.”

“Maybe you’re right. I can’t think of a single thing I’d like to do for a million years.”

Charley laughed. “I think it’s gonna be nice to be off duty.”