Death by retirement

Many people live goal-directed lives. This is generally ok for the short run, but tends to be a poor motivator for the long-range. When we live for goals, we focus on the future; we sacrifice our time now for future rewards. Being able to set aside immediate gratification for a greater reward later is a valuable trait, one generally not shared with animals. But when the goal is too far in the future, we may find that we have lived our lives without ever having "tasted" the present. This is especially true when we "motivate" ourselves constantly by focusing on the future, only to miss the present.

I have seen many people and friends work their whole lives toward retirement, hating their daily jobs and lives but willing and able to defer all their gratification to the magic retirement date. How many instances do we all know of in which people die shortly after retirement? Sometimes their spouses follow almost immediately as well.

Goals run out, and with them our gratification and reward, sometimes leading to disillusionment and disappointment so great the person gives up and dies, depressed and empty. Even short-term goals when reached may have some degree of this result. Among graduate students working toward an advanced degree, there is a standing "joke" about "post-doctoral depression". When one has put almost all one's time and energy into arriving at a particular place, there can be a sudden awareness that the goal was not as totally rewarding as we anticipated. When I got my doctorate I felt quite let-down; I was the same person with the same dissatisfactions after getting the degree as before.

How many rewards do we hype up in our minds and then find them ultimately disappointing? How many disappointments can we endure without "giving up?" The only alternative to living in the future is living in the now. We can focus on the present, on the process of living rather than goals and objectives. It's clear, however, that if we do this exclusively, there will be other kinds of problems to deal with. What kind of life can we have if we don't sacrifice the present for the future, at least some of the time?

I don't think any of us like the idea of waiting, waiting, waiting for our rewards, only to find them unsatisfying. It's hard to change to living in the now when you've spent your entire life living in the future. This particular balance is a difficult one to find, but without a balance between the future and the present we will miss out on the whole thing.