Letting Go

Some ideas that seem useless when you are young get more relevant as you age.  An idea of that sort  is  "letting go".

We hold on to our "stuff", things we have accumulated over our lives.  At the time we get these things we think they are important and necessary.  As time  passes, however, we find taking care of all our stuff gets  more and more difficult and tedious.  At the same time we begin to recognize how little of it we actually use or need. 

Some times we see this even in the short run, such as after birthdays or Christmas.  Even the new car that seemed the epitome of our dreams becomes a thing to get rid of and a pain to take care of.  We see it more clearly when we move from one house to another.  Getting rid of stuff...  what a nightmare!

Our relatives (even the ones we love) die and we must let  them  go. Our friends for a lifetime die as well.  As we age, and if we live long enough, we will lose all the  long-term friends.  Letting them go becomes a frequent and painful job, but we have to learn to do it.

When someone dies with whom we have a difficult or conflictful relationship, letting go is more problematic.  We feel there is "unfinished business".  We experience the burden of the things left unsaid and the questions left unanswered.  Learning to let this go as well is much more difficult and sometimes we simply don't know how to do that.  (This is one of the things psychotherapists spend a lot of time doing).

Finally we have to let go of negative feelings on a daily basis.  We carry anger and resentment far too long,  hurting ourselves but not the person who is the target of our anger.  We carry anxiety about unlikely catastrophes to the point we can't manage the crises of everyday life.  We carry sadness in our hearts for relationships that are long over.  We hate saying "goodbye".

Old age seems to be the time for me and others of my age to focus on the skill of "letting go",  I have to do a lot of it, it seems.  In fact, I would say that the most important skill for the aged is the skill of letting things go, of accepting your losses, and also accepting the peculiar freedom that results.