Monday, October 15, 2012

How to be happy

A patient told me a few days ago that he had seen a therapist previously for treatment for his depression.  He quoted the therapist as saying "You have to choose happiness".  He commented that if he knew how to do that he already would have.

I agree with him.  We can't "choose" happiness. Happiness happens while we're busy doing other things.  Happiness is something that has already happened while we weren't thinking about it   But there is something we can do to make it possible.

We can choose to let go unhappiness.  When Buddhists say "suffering is optional", that is exactly what they mean.  It is possible to let go our old resentments, hatreds, grievances and fears.  Dwelling on them and making them part of us is how we make happiness impossible.  We can simply let them go.  We don't have to let them define our lives.  If something in our past seems unfinished, we can choose to finish it and let it go.  We can give up the hope of having a better childhood.

 Happiness can happen by itself when we're not busy being miserable.